I carried a list to the supermarket, one I’d written in the fourth grade, after I’d gotten really really pissed at one of my teachers for humiliating me in front of the class.

He’d slammed his fist on the podium and said I wasn’t listening to him. I remember he was asking us to write down a math problem. For some reason I couldn’t hear him. I guess I was too busy thinking about my list: Rice O’Roni, Pop Tarts, Aunt Jemima’s syrup. Pepsi. Doritoes.

I shouldn’t go into the list. I should go into the anger. The disappointment.

But then there is the other list. Pond’s cold cream. Ex-lax. Luden’s cough drops (cherry)–the one I used for the fifth grade, for another mean teacher.

My sixth grade teacher: Levi’s 501 jeans, Pepsi-free, and Kit-Kats

College professor: AZT, Depends, Preparation H, Zima