Dear Binda,

You once slept until noon. You called in a panic, thinking you had missed something. You didn’t have kids then, otherwise they would have woken you up.

So it was up to me to tell you that nothing happened. I just woke up and stretched, pissed, exercised, showered, read a Mary Higgins Clark novel and thought about doing laundry and then thought about later that evening, about where we were going and what we would wear.

That’s all you missed. You said it was a lot you missed. I liked that. And that you said you’d missed me.

Now it’s my turn to sleep in late and I’m calling you now to find out the latest updates. Tell me everything.

Dear Binda,

I never thought you were good at baking. We talked about this before, so you’re not offended, I hope. But you are a good Molder. Your latest creations awed me. I’m lying flat on my bed, looking up at the whirring ceiling fan, still in awe.

Your children are so well-behaved. I’ll give you credit. I know Josh left you to such things. You’re doing so well. Especially with Katrina. She keeps saying please and thank you. She’s teaching me to say those things. Which means you are teaching me.

Thank you. And yes, please, let me have another one of your flat, hard, spread out, lackluster chocolate chip cookies, please.

P.S. Did I say molder? I meant Mother.

There isn’t one answer. There are lots of difference answers depending on your mood. If you’re in a good, you’ll probably say or do something good. If you’re in a bad mood, you’ll probably do something bad.

There are different ways of getting to a mood. Lots of little journeys, which don’t have to be tiring, but can feel enlivening. Small steps. There’s a different directions you can a take a step. But it starts in the step. Before the step is where you are.

You are okay where you are. You will take a step. When you’re good and ready.

Dear Binda,

You taught me that when I’m foaming at the mouth that I should just grab a napkin and call it day. Instead the day called me out. I got a sudden urge, which I call a ‘sudurge’ for mellorine and Velveeta. I know they still exist. I just couldn’t find any in any of the grocery stores I went. But New York is a big town. They are bound to be out there, somewhere.

Can you offer me any suggestions?

Oh, more napkins. Okay. Got it.

Binda Williams has lived. She is preceded in life by pretty much everyone.

She continues to live her life well. And she’s a great hugger and an even better teacher of hugs. She was born in–doesn’t matter. Did you hear what I said? She lives. She’s alive right now. I’m serious. I’m on the phone right now and she’s talking about meeting up in Jersey and she’s pretty and alive and why don’t people write the opposite of obituaries? What IS THE OPPOSITE of an obituary?  I looked in Merriam-Webster’s. The closest thing I could find was “birth.”

Wow. Nothing in between birth and death?

Binda, you should have something in-between.

I love you.

Morning Binda,

Was thinking of what you mentioned last night during my visit, when I was getting ready to leave–had a great time by the way! It was about my hugs. You said I suck at hugs.

I agree. It’s not like I’ve not been told this before. Even my boss told me and I’ve only hugged him once in the entire ten years I’ve worked for him–and who does he get off writing me off after one hug?

Well, anway, I suck.

Let’s hug next time. Let’s make a real moment of it. I know I’m probably going to make a mess of it–my butt will probably stick out, my chin will want to jut out instead of digging in for your neck. Well, anyway, lots to learn. I’ll  see you then!

Dear Binda,

Help got a hold of you and–wow! I can see it in your eyes. You have a spring in your step. I’m following along because your words ring true.

Thank you for inviting me over on Saturday. Look forward to seeing you and the kids.

I really love you.

Dear Binda,

How are you able to learn new languages. And they all pay, don’t they? You are so rich and well-versed. I just want the basics. I want to know how to say hello and goodbye.

And “thank you.”

Thank you, Binda. In as many languages as possible.

If you find five white butterflies today, then call a relative you haven’t called in a long time and talk to them briefly. Or longer if they’re up for it.

Find any excuse to call someone today, anyone, just for a short chat. Ask them about them. Ask them about their thems.

Listen to what they have to say. Feel their words, hug them, close to you, and avoid  trying to tell them what to do. Let them tell you what to do.

I’m picking you up something from the grocery story. Something comforting.  I’m going to give you a message. And a massage. .I’m going to kiss you lightly. I’m going to be your friend. I’m going to clean the kitchen. I’m going to make you dinner.

I’m going to put you to bed, comb your hair, and kiss you lightly. I will stay with you until.