“Determination to be a good man is the worst determination there is.” This phrase came from my mother. She happened to be pissed at the moment because my father had thrown up all over our Thanksgiving dinner. This turned out to be the best thanksgiving of my life. He’d passed out. Which meant I’d have a bit more freedom. To listen to music a little bit louder, to be at ease a little bit longer, masturbate longer, smoke cigarettes harder.

I never wanted to be a good kid much less a good man.

So I wasn’t.