Because I don’t have the money and even if I did, why would give it to you. You insulted me, gave me that stupid beanie and told me it was signed by Michael Jordan and I looked and looked for the signature and you said, Oops sorry, it must have gotten accidentally washed in along with the rest of your dirty laundry.
And speaking of gossip, word is around town that you don’t even like me and whenever I try to speak with you (like I’m doing now, duh). Bug you just give me that blank stare, with your mouth hanging open, drool coming out and shit, so of course I won’t give you money.

But I will give you a handkerchief. A cheap one.