We were talking, drinking at our favorite restaurant, just like all the other times.
We got around to talking about kids and she said she “I think I would make a great mom.” Right? There wasn’t a “Right” at the end of her declaration but somewhere, and this comes from the communication between best friends where you can feel the underlying tow something they needed.
She needed me to agree with her, that she would be a great mom.
But I shook my head and said no.
She asked why not.
And so I told her. I gave her examples. How easily she gets pissed at the smallest things and that’s all kids are: small things, handling small things, presenting small things and all of them would do undo her.
She got so mad at me she left the restaurant, without paying. It was my birthday dinner. We haven’t spoken in weeks.
I feel bad. But I feel its true. It was the only time I ever felt authentic and it backfired in my face. Why couldn’t I just go along with things the way I’d done these last few decades. It would have cost nothing. Certainly not our friendship.