I can’t skate. But I can skirt. Hide. Wear hats.

Bandanas work too. I bought a bright yellow bandana with cherry patterned from Uniqlo. Am I Unique? No–and that’s perfectly fine. I have to give up trying to be special. Special is out in the cold, knocking on doors–with my hands out, when they’d rather be stuffed in fleece-lined pockets.

I did knock on your door once, remember? On Halloween. You gave the bad candies.

You also gave me V.D. Which isn’t called V.D. anymore. Anyway, it was the good V.D., the kind that penicillin could and did knock out. And I never got AIDs and that’s good.

Some people did. All I got was this lousy haircut. Well. And other things too.