How to be a Lazy Bastard when you are Really Just Tired and Need Some Sleep–in 22 very complicated Steps.

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  1. Tell those people who are pointing at you to fuck off.
  2. Watch them yell at  you. But cover your ears,while you do it.
  3. They have left. They gave up on yelling at you. Because it’s too much work to yell. They are too lazy to keep it up.
  4. Hhahaahahahahahahah, you laugh. Wait now: you don’t feel lazy. You feel giggly. Exhilarated.
  5. You leave the room. It’s empty already. No people. Just remnants of disapproval- Smoke that is clearing.
  6. You step out into the day. And it’s a nice day.
      1. Nostril alert. Breathe in. Smell car exhaust mixed with flowers. Hear the birds. Wait. There they are, sparrows–the Everyman bird.They hop, have you noticed? And they are always so relatively close, almost underfoot. So energetic.
      2. Laziness is somewhere on the horizon. You walk forward.
      3. “Hey!” someone yells.
      4. Holy shit, it was the person yelling at you from before, from back at your apartment, for being lazy. They are shocked and appalled to see you so hale and hearty, walking outside. You were supposed to be lazy.
      5. They are yelling at you again, for not sticking with your laziness stance–that you held so doggedly too, just minutes before.
      6. Should you retreat, go back to laziness, even if you really don’t feel it anymore?  
      7. “Wishy-washy,” they call you. “You are not a man of your word. You are not a man.”
      8. Should you cover your ears again? A man would never cover his ears. He would take it. Like a man.
      9. And you are a man–a middle aged one–which you don’t know How to Be (and wouldn’t that be a good How-To, when you Are Not!) because you keep thinking it’s okay to change your mind about things.
      10. Like changing your mind about laziness. You want to be frisky now. You feel so Now, right now.
      11. “Out of my way Nay-sayer,” you tell the person who is screaming at the top of their lungs–you cannot tell at this point if they are a man or woman or child but the screaming is a real, potent and powerful effort at getting you to just fucking behave.

  7. But you refuse to.
  8. But they keep yelling.
  9. And you keep refusing.
  10. But they want to line you up against a wall and get you to change your mind.
  11. But you refuse to.

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